Ahhh, the holiday season — the time for twinkling lights, family gatherings and that all-too-familiar rush to buy the perfect gifts, make every cookie recipe on Pinterest, and somehow fit in 15 different parties before the new year. I used to be that Mom, saying yes to all the invitations, fretting for weeks on end about what to get every family member and every friend, exhausting myself right up until the wee hours of the night Christmas Eve to wrap and make everything come together.
It’s A LOT. So much, in fact, that it can easily steal away the very joy and spirit of the season. I mean, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s… they’re supposed to be times of gratitude, togetherness and reflection. When did they become more about getting stuff, fighting over which parent’s house to spend the day with, or stressing over the enormous to-do lists that include setting up and taking down mountains of decorations? What IF this year we could try something a little different? What IF we unscheduled our holiday?
Consider Something Different
What IF, instead of racing through the holidays like we’re auditioning for the world’s fastest Santa Claus, we chose to slow down? What IF we resisted the urge to fill our homes with stuff (because let’s be honest, we already have closets FULL of things we don’t need) and instead filled our hearts with simple, cost-free, unscheduled moments of joy? What IF we stopped comparing ourselves to the “perfect” families we see on Instagram and instead embraced the things that make our own families uniquely ours?
If you wake up Christmas morning and everything doesn’t look like a scene from a Hallmark movie, that’s okay! If your holiday dinner consists of takeout Chinese food and a good laugh rather than a 12-course feast, that’s perfectly wonderful too. There’s no “right” way to celebrate, and there’s no one-size-fits-all model for how to spend the holidays.
Set Boundaries, Honor Your Time
The holidays can be a whirlwind of social obligations. Between work parties, family gatherings, school events, and neighborly cookie exchanges, it’s easy to feel like you’re pulled in a hundred different directions. FOMO (fear of missing out) during these times is REAL. But here’s an important truth: you don’t have to do everything.
In fact, the more you try to be everywhere and do everything, the more likely you are to burn out and overlook the joy of what truly matters. So, this year, let’s get intentional about our time. Let’s set boundaries, leaving room for unscheduled holiday enjoyment. How about we give ourselves permission to say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to invitations that will just add stress to our already overflowing plates. Let’s stop keeping up with the Joneses by buying our kids everything on their wish list. Instead, let’s make sure our kids have what’s truly important: unhindered TIME with us.
It’s also the perfect time to really examine the relationships that nourish you. Choose people who choose you. You don’t have to spend the holidays with anyone who drains your energy or creates tension in your life. This can be difficult when it comes to family, but remember you can set reasonable limits on those interactions. You’re not a bad person if you choose to leave a gathering early to attend to your family’s needs or if you say no to the endless demands and expectations of even well-meaning family members.
And give yourself permission to NOT feel guilty about it! Boundaries are a healthy and necessary part of self-care. Prioritizing your peace will actually allow you to show up more fully for the people who truly matter. (Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Here’s a great book to help you do better!)
Be Present with Unstructured Time
There’s something profoundly restorative about unstructured, unhurried time. It’s the space between all the planning and rushing. It’s the quiet moments when you have nothing to do, and yet everything you need is already right there in front of you. Unscheduling your time is an honoring of all that’s possible and deprioritizing of the “have-to’s.” One of my very best friends preaches to me constantly about the need to actually schedule unscheduled time into our daily lives — and not just during the holidays!
When was the last time we simply sat and enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa without scrolling our phones, responding to a text or worrying about what’s next on the agenda? Or when was the last time we took an afternoon nap because we could, not because we were forced to out of exhaustion? An unscheduled holiday doesn’t mean wasted time — it means space for connection, reflection, and discovering what brings us true joy.
This holiday season, let’s try embracing pockets of unscheduled time. Rather than filling every single minute with activities and “must-do” lists, let’s give ourselves permission to do absolutely nothing. Watch the snow or leaves fall from your window. Have an impromptu dance party in the living room with your kids. Or take a long, unrushed walk with a loved one and let the conversation flow without any pressure or agenda.
If you have an entire afternoon free, resist the urge to fill it with a to-do list. Instead, let it unfold. Do what feels right in the moment. You might surprise yourself with how much joy you find in simply being.
The Gift of Presence Over Perfection
At the end of the day, the holidays are about presence, not perfection. We’ll eventually pack away those perfect decorations. The perfect gift might get returned. Everyone will eat and forget that perfect dinner you made. But the time you spend with the people you love… that lasts. The laughter, the stories, the shared experiences, the way your family looks at you with love — it’s these unforgettable moments that you’ll remember.
So this year, let’s choose to let go. Let’s embrace the unscheduled, imperfect moments this holiday season. Let’s say goodbye to comparison, and hello to gratitude for what we already have. Choose the people who choose you, and set boundaries that protect your peace.
And most importantly, let’s remember that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” holiday season, but rather real moments that, when embraced, become something beautifully imperfect and wonderfully memorable.
Happy holidays. May they be purposeful, joyful, and full of love — just as they should be. 🎄✨
